mothwentbad (mothwentbad) wrote,

Battleship - the Disappointment

I'm disappointed that Battleship was made into a movie and Joseph Heller wasn't brought back from the dead to write the script.

"E6 is a miss. Awaiting orders."

"Launch missiles at B6. We're bound to hit their aircraft carrier eventually."

"...we hit a civilian fishing boat, sir."

"How many missiles does it take to sink one of those?"

"But sir, it's a civilian fishing boat, sir!"

"But how many missiles does it take?"

"Just one, sir. We sunk it."

"Excellent! Fire at F2."
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I nearly cut and pasted my favourite part of the book, but I realised that to do that bit justice the extract would have to be massive. Still the whole book can be found online here:

And my favourite bit includes this quote towards the beginning:
"There were three members of the Action Board, the bloated colonel with the big fat mustache, Lieutenant Scheisskopf and Major Metcalf, who was trying to develop a steely gaze. As a member of the Action Board, Lieutenant Scheisskopf was one of the judges who would weigh the merits of the case against Clevinger as presented by the prosecutor. Lieutenant Scheisskopf was also the prosecutor. Clevinger had an officer defending him. The officer defending him was Lieutenant Scheisskopf."
When I saw the trailer I was amazed at that they could make a movie out of that and made me think of other games to movies...

can you imagine one based around


Snakes & Ladders?

the Hilbert Hotel?

something happened...

some jazz musicians playing with some domesticated primates...